someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
