its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
