Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Acid is not a monday night drug
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
