reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
