You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I need a burrito and a hug.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
