He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
How does one acquire holy water?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm too high and old for this...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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