we're blogging at a bar
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
