I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
