ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
