wakey wakey hands off snakey
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
