I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
