Old men and throwing up are my life now.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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