He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
