Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
