Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
