why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
