Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
