singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
