goodnight i made you a song goodbye
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
