how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
