Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
