i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
