so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
