At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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