yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
