Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
