It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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