Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
