got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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