i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
