I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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