whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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