i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
