You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
