i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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