You're so nebulous sometimes
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
