i'm lost and i look like a hooker
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
