i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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