So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
