i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
