I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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