Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
