we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Never let your siblings swipe right.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
