so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
