You're my little dorito
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
