I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
