oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
