I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
