my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
