She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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