I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
