There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
